As an active happiness seeker, I try to keep the things that bring me joy in the front of my mind. It's easy to get caught up in stress and details. (Believe me, I'm a pro at stressing. It's my middle name.)
But, particularly in times of duress, I think its important to be grateful for the wonderful things. I have a journal dedicated entirely to positive things. I titled it "A Beautiful Place" after this quote, attributed to Kurt Vonnegut, but written by Iain Thomas.
"Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place."
So, here it is. The beautiful place I've found through the past year and 4 months in Guyana.
1. Saying How I Really Feel
I'm all for being polite, and trying not to hurt people's feelings. Really. Sometimes I think I can be too afraid of what other people may think, or how they'll interpret what I say. But, saying it, whatever it is, is utterly freeing. Sometimes things don't change, but to me the victory is saying it.
2. Grabbing New Soap
When I'm washing my clothes and I reach for a thick bar of blue soap--it's really satisfying. The slickness of the large bar. The way it slides over my clothes, dragging bubbles and blueness over my nasty clothes. Oh yes. I love it.
3. Understanding A Joke In The Local Language
Humor is undeniably one of the great threads which bonds people. It is so essential to every culture. But, when someone would whip out the thick creolese, and then everyone laughed, I would just go blindly and give a half hearted giggle. Sometimes people would explain the jokes, but there's no satisfaction in being the person who says "Oh, now I get it." Hearing a joke, in the same creolese, and actually laughing at it, that's the good stuff.
4. Seeing The Light Bulb
When we recite phonics sounds and a kid finally realizes "a" sounds like "ah" as they recite "ah, ah, alligator" Or when they realize that 3__ is thirty, whatever. Those moments, when they finally get it, are what makes me keep going to school. When they finally get it. The "ah-ha" moments. They remind me why I'm here.
5. Singing Really, Really Loud
I love music. A whole lot. Pretty much the only time I'm not listening to music or have a song in my head is when I'm asleep. Singing is such a stress reliever. Belting out songs when no one is around is my typical Sunday. And, sometimes people do come, and look, maybe laugh a little, but I keep right on singing. I'm respectful of the ears of my community every other day of the week, but Sunday is funday.
6. Hearing The Voices Of My Family
I'm somewhat convinced modern technology is our current day version of magic. What else could allow me to hear the soothing voices of my mom and dad and 12am when I'm sobbing because everything hurts and nothing will be okay? What else could let me laugh at my sister with thousands of miles between us, and be laughed at right back? What else could keep me connected to my American home almost every week? Magic.
7. Sipping Tea
There's a song by Great Big Sea called "Have A Cuppa Tea" which informs the listener how a cup of tea can cure anything, anytime. I believe it.
8. Getting Through to Counterparts
When I first got to site I was utterly overwhelmed with how I, a then 23 year old, with little to no practical experience, was supposed to teach these highly qualified, experienced teachers anything. What could I possibly tell them that they don't already know? Turns out, doing less telling and more showing and participating was the solution.
9. Making A Local Dish To My Satisfaction
Y'all might not be impressed by my baking powder-y bake and slightly hairy crab legs, but I've come a long way. Killing crabs and making bake ain't easy, and I've done it.
10. Getting A Really Good Kick In Football
I'm not graceful. If wishes were water, I'd have an ocean full about my grace and skill at physical activities. But, I love playing. Running and frolicking is my jam. Despite breaking the toe on my left foot, and recently fracturing the toe on my right, I love playing football on my island. Small teams, small goals, no shoes, lots of sand and comradery like no other.
11. Feeling Like I Am Enough
When I left for Peace Corps, I wasn't worried about giant snakes that could literally swallow me whole, or malaria, or the 'gunya. I was worried I wouldn't have any friends.I was worried I would be alone in a dreadfully large world. That was before I knew my Peace Corps family. Before I had local friends to laugh with and talk about how sweaty we are. Before I had told my Peace Corps brothers and sisters things no one ever needed to know about me, and they shared the same.
I wrote "feeling like I am enough" in my Beautiful Place book. And it resonated with me. I am enough. Not the best. Not the worst. Not perfect, or anywhere extreme. Enough, in every beautiful way I can be enough for myself.
12. Riding In Really Fast Speedboats
There's nothing like breaking into a grin as the wind pastes my sweaty hair against my head and my cheeks shake in the wind. I'm like a dog sticking my head out the window of a car, but instead of a collar jangling, my Peace Corps Approved Life Vest shakes in the wind. I love going fast, and I'll never get tired of the rides to and from Wakapoa.
13. Once In A Lifetime Experiences
Whether this be seeing baby turtles hatch at Shell Beach, or pushing my friend out of a canoe into the creek, I am constantly aware of how precious my time here is. Peace Corps, and Guyana, has done an amazing job reminding me of that. Nothing will ever be like it is right now. I may come back in 5, 10, 15 years, and things will have changed immensely. I have a sense of how fragile every moment is, and how precious. What I have right now is not replicable, so I want to praise it now, to appreciate all of the good I have coloring my beautiful place.
As you finish reading this, I wonder, what does your beautiful place look like?
