When I was hoping to join Peace Corps I didn't know what to
expect. I expected I would change through my experiences. I wanted to ride the
wild elephant. I wanted to dip my feet
in the creek in the afternoon, to take shelter under the shade. I don't think I
knew quite how limited my perspective was, but I wanted to broaden my horizons.
Who I am now is not who I came into Peace Corps as. I
imagined, early on, that everything I accomplished would be in the pursuit of promoting
literacy and better education for children who truly need it. But that isn't
what happened. A lot of the issues facing the education here are outside of my
control. Much, if not most, of my biggest accomplishments have come from the friendships,
the personal growth, and belonging to a community I would never have known
about without Peace Corps.
I shamelessly brag
about Wakapoa whenever I can. It blows my mind that if one person had decided
to put me in another site, my entire experience would have been radically
different. I would never have met and become friends with the amazing people
that now color my life. Looking back on the almost two years I have spent in
Guyana, I can only smile. There were many hardships, things I would not have
been able to get thorough without the enormous support of my American, Peace
Corps, and Wakapoa families, but nothing large enough to stop me from loving
where I am and the opportunity I have been given to be here. My two years in
Wakapoa are almost over. People told me the time would go fast. I didn't know
how right they were. When I moved into Wakapoa in July, getting adjusted seemed
impossible. Now, leaving is equally terrifying. I do know that when I leave, I
don't have to leave forever. I can always buy a plane ticket and come back.
But, I'll never be living here again. I feel
homesick for Wakapoa before I've even left. As much as I love Guyana,
and specifically Wakapoa, there are some things I won't miss. Mostly, ants, the
prevalence of social epidemics like suicide, abuse, and mistreatment of people,
particularly women, and the general assumption that my skin being white makes
me inherently different than someone with different colored skin.
Life can be hard in Guyana. It is extraordinary, unlike
anywhere else, and simultaneously terrible and fantastic. I have seen some
people go through things which would break my spirit if I had to do it for a
week, and yet some of my local friends have done such things their entire
lives. They make the best of the situation they are presented with. And yet,
unfortunately, that situation is often what limits them.
Nothing separates me from the people of Wakapoa other than
chance; I was born to my family in
America which had the means and opportunity to provide me with a college
education, to give me the opportunities I have had. Did my parents do something to deserve being
met with jobs when they searched for them? Of course not. There are so many environmental factors influencing
if people can get out of impoverished situations worldwide: education,
opportunity, luck, where they were born, personal skills, drive and
motivation.
This is something I can't stop seeing. The disadvantage of
the disenfranchised. But, the people I came here to help have proven one thing
repeatedly: they do not need me. They need opportunities. They need education,
jobs, fairness and equity. But they do not need me. Communities still struggle
after a volunteer has been there. There are too many factors outside of any
incoming volunteer's control, and many issues in health, or education will go
unresolved. But, that does not mean that a volunteer has been unsuccessful or
that the time has been wasted. There is no way to put a number on a friend who has
grown into a self possessed, confident woman. There is no way to gauge the love
given and received between volunteers and the children with whom they work.
When I was in training for Peace Corps, they talked about
how I could monitor my success. What constituted success for me, they'd asked. Way back then, in 2014, when I had barely come
to Guyana, I decided I would call my service successful if I made one person's
life better after they knew me. I think I have done that. I think at least one
person is glad they know me. I think at least one person knows a little more about the world and about
themselves. I think at least one child likes reading and feels like a reader. I
think the library will continue giving children access to books they didn't
have before. But, I don't actually know. Just last week, I managed to get the
30 boxes of books from America into my school's library in Wakapoa. It was hard to get them here, hard to sort through the literal piles of junk books the school sent, and hard to not know if the library will last or if the books will even have an impact. But, I can hope that all my desires become a reality. There's no telling for sure. Even if I leave, and come back in 2,
or 5, or even 10 years, I still might not be able to see my impact. That is the
burden of the Peace Corps Volunteer; the tree is planted, but we will never
taste the fruit it bears, nor sit beneath the shade it casts.
I said I have changed through this experience. I feel this is
true. But its always easier to see changes in someone else than to see them in
yourself. I had wanted to make a long
list of everything I've seen and learned through Peace Corps, to share my hard
earned wisdom with the world that reads my blog. But it's not that easy. I
think its safe to say I have a broader perspective, am better at accepting
reality rather than inventing my own reality, and am more authoritative in
expressing my opinions and getting things done. Beyond that, I have a whole lot
more stories, and an amazing network of support. Thank you, to everyone who has
been there throughout this journey. It would take forever to thank everyone,
but I really couldn't have done it without the support of my American and
Guyanese families, no matter where they may be now.
Its funny, writing this as though I'm done with Peace Corps,
when I have at least 3 more months of service, if I don't decide to extend for
longer. But, Close Of Service(COS) conference gave me a good opportunity to
look back and evaluate where I've been and where I want to go. I still don't
know exactly what path I want to be on, but I even if I don't know where I want
to go, I know I'll be able to handle anything. I don't know if Peace Corps has
made me stronger, I like to think it has, but I do know it has made me more
aware of my weaknesses and my strengths.
Thank you to everyone who made the book shipment possible. Particularly Amazing Super Helpful People include Shane and Kat, without who, the books would still be sitting in some room in Minnesota. Thank you so much for all your help. The kids are quite delighted by them.
Thank you to everyone who made the book shipment possible. Particularly Amazing Super Helpful People include Shane and Kat, without who, the books would still be sitting in some room in Minnesota. Thank you so much for all your help. The kids are quite delighted by them.
But, in the news of books donations: the books the school donated were all high level books. Which would be great if we had high level readers. Unfortunately, most of the kids in my school are below a grade 3 reading level. I am currently working on getting at least 3 boxes of easy reading, child friendly books down here. If you have anything you'd like to contribute, contact me and I will find a way for them to get down to my kids.
I really don't know where I would be without all of your amazing support. In times when I have doubted myself, your belief that I can continue on has been one of the only things keeping me going. Thanks for everything you have done, and everything you will continue to do. You are the bees knees, cat's pajamas, and best of the rest. Until next time.
